ANISE FROST looks at how you can learn to communicate with a calm confidence that is so natural it looks effortless
In this article, Anise Frost, who has coached hundreds of senior leaders to become effective communicators, sets out nine simple strategies in three steps, looking at behaviours, actions and training to help you communicate successfully in meetings.
Often, my clients start with the misconception that communication is an innate gift, possessed by some and not by others. I dispel this notion by teaching them the soft skills of communication, conflict resolution and confidence-building.
If you have ever received feedback that you need to assert yourself more in meetings, or if you frequently leave meetings feeling unheard and frustrated, these strategies will be beneficial to you.
Know your desired impact
Be clear about how you want to feel at the end of the meeting and how you would like others to perceive you. Align all your thoughts, actions, and behaviours with that goal.
Take a couple of minutes to prepare your mindset:
Take a breath before the meeting.
Free your mind of any previous work to fully engage in the meeting.
Dismiss any thoughts about content or people that may derail your desired outcome.
If the agenda has been distributed ahead of time, have a clear idea of points that may be valuable.
Improve your technical skills
Your body language accounts for 55 per cent1 of your communication, so maintain an alert yet relaxed posture. Use inclusive hand gestures that amplify your message, along with engaging eye contact and facial expressions, but present yourself in a way that is natural for you.
When speaking, know how you want to communicate; this should be appropriate to the context and your role.
Use words that engage, and avoid phrases that distract from your message such as “I am not sure if…” or “this could be off point but…”. Try to ensure what you say is concise and focused on the topic or idea you want to convey and trust that making your point once is enough. This accounts for 7 per cent of your communication.
Actively listen to your colleagues using the acronym LISTEN to guide you:
L – Let go of distractions
I – Be involved
S – Show empathy
T – Tune into nonverbal cues
E – Eliminate judgement
N – Never interrupt
Verbally reflecting on what has been said keeps others engaged and shows appreciation, encouraging them to listen to you.
Energy and poise
Use your physical energy to maintain composure. Minimise your tension before entering the meeting and let go of others’ tensions to remain calm and collected.
Control the pitch, pace, cadence and inflections of your verbal communication. Understand that being assertive isn’t the only way to have a presence; an accommodating voice that reflects previous discussions has more impact. Remarkably, it is said that 38 per cent 1 of people’s trust and belief in your content comes when the energy in your voice matches your message.
If you invest time in conditioning yourself like an athlete, you will be a high performer in communication. You need to know what you want to achieve, prime your mindset and enter the arena with clarity, ready to respond to whatever comes your way.
You can only control yourself and how you react. You cannot change the context, the people, or their communication style. All you can do is have clarity in how you wish to be heard, be flexible in your responses and keep your emotions in check.
1. Albert Mehrabian’s 7%-38%-55% rule: Mehrabian, Albert; Wiener, Morton (1967), “Decoding of Inconsistent Communications”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Anise Frost is a leadership coach and facilitator specialising in communication, conflict resolution and confidence. With a 20-year background as a communication specialist in education, she founded her own coaching and training company, Intentional Growth. Since its inception, Anise has coached hundreds of senior leaders to become effective communicators. To find out how effective communication could help you or your team, visit Anise’s website www.anisefrost.com or email her at anisefrost@gmail.com