Doug Strycharczyk looks at why trust might be more about you than what others are doing or saying
Trust matters. It matters in sales where relationships – internal and external – matter. A lack of trust gets in the way of performance, wellbeing and teamworking. It also matters in leadership, where creating trust is crucial.
When we think about trust, we often focus on the individual or group to be trusted. What are their characteristics? What do they say or do that might suggest they can or cannot be trusted?
This scrutiny makes sense, but it can be one dimensional.
One definition of trust, “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability and surety of a person or thing”, supports this idea. We trust someone or something because of x, y or z. But what if these qualities are unknown, or have been found wanting, does that mean we cannot trust the person?
The Cambridge Dictionary also says that trust is “the belief that you can trust someone or something” and adds “to believe something is true although you have no proof”.
The focus is now not about the other person, it’s about the one doing the trusting. That’s you!
Trust is a belief that what you expect, from a person or persons, is what you will actually see or get. Trust is a mental attitude.
Can mental toughness explain our approach to trusting others?
If we know someone or something is trustworthy, there may be no issue to consider.
What happens if we don’t know enough to believe someone is trustworthy? That is common. Perhaps we trusted someone, and they didn’t quite deliver. Can we trust them again?
The eight factors of mental toughness
The eight factors of mental toughness set out in Chart 1 (see above) are divided into what I call the four Cs – control, commitment, confidence and challenge. This provides a useful way to examine trust from a fresh perspective.
If we look at the eight factors, we can see that our attitude may influence significantly whether we trust others or not. We might fail to trust someone who is entirely trustworthy simply because of this. Perhaps some of us are predisposed not to trust others.
The ‘risk orientation’ factor (one of the blue segments in the chart) is a good place to start. This describes the extent to which you are prepared to deal with the unknown and whether you see a situation as being risky or having opportunity.
If mentally sensitive, it might be that you are not so open to risk and will avoid trusting someone. A more mentally tough individual may accept that something might not turn out as promised, but it is still worth a go. In this scenario, they may trust someone even though they might not know them.
Our ‘learning orientation’ (the second blue segment in the chart) might also be relevant. This is the extent to which you reflect and learn from what happens to you. The more you do this, the more you may believe that you have the experience to manage a situation where trust can be tested. Indeed, you might trust another knowing that, even it went wrong, you would still learn from it.
This may matter where a trusting relationship has not worked but has not been a complete disaster. You might consider you learned from that experience and you are prepared to trust the person again.
If you have ‘confidence in your abilities’ (see the first, red segment), you could have the self-belief to think that you can deal with a situation however it turns out. It is possible that this would increase the likelihood you would trust others, in the knowledge that you can deal with whatever happens.
A high degree of ‘interpersonal confidence’ (see the second segment in red) could also allow you to engage with others to explore their trustworthiness and to deal confidently with any people issues that arise.
Your sense of control (the green segment in the chart) might also influence things. With ‘life control’, the more that someone has a sense of self-worth and the will to ‘have a go’, the more likely, perhaps, they are to trust someone, especially if that person is involved with something in which they have a shared interest?
With ‘emotional control’ (the second green segment in the chart), there is always the capacity for us to respond emotionally to events and to people – perhaps more so when trust is involved. Again, the capability to manage emotional responses and keep a cool head could be a factor in electing whether or not to trust another.
Your level of commitment may matter too. With a high level of ‘goal orientation’ (see the purple segment of the chart), you might be less trusting of those who do not show a strong sense of purpose. Conversely, a low level of goal orientation might mean that you might be inclined to trust those who do seem to know where they are going.
With ‘achievement orientation’ (the other purple segment), those who are more mentally tough and who will ‘give it their all’ might be less trusting of those who do not show the same level of endeavour. Relevant perhaps if my input is a factor in its success.
In summary, if trust is “the belief that you can trust someone or something”, especially when we have little or no proof that another can be trusted, then our mental approach surely is a significant factor.
Assessing your own mental attitude
How can I asses my mental attitude to understand my approach to trusting others?
AQR International has developed a high-quality psychometric measure – the MTQPlus – which helps us understand our levels and patterns of mental toughness and mental sensitivity.
Reliable measures act as a mirror, enabling you to see yourself as others might see you and do this in some detail and reasonably objectively.
And what about your trustworthiness? Is mental toughness important in my being trusted by others?
It is. You can use the same framework and the same assessment to explore what you can do to present yourself as a trustworthy person.
Perhaps when we are thinking about building trust, its useful to start with ourselves.
Doug Strycharczyk is the CEO of AQR International, a leading provider of high-quality psychometric tools and assessments. Over the past 25 years, he has become known and respected as a thought-leader on the concept of mental toughness. As a practitioner working in 80 countries, he has developed, with leading academics, approaches, programmes and a unique high-quality measure (MTQPlus) to enable the key concept of mental toughness to be applied to people and organisations in every sector.